my dad was, and still is, a serious control freak. he wants everything to go his way, all the time, forever. His need to control + my rebellious streak – any display of love or affection = a seriously fucked up child.
dad,
i’d love to write this on my regular blog, but it would upset the people who know me (and we both know that i shouldn’t upset others, right?), so i’m writing it on the down-low. anyway, this is more for me than for you, because you would never admit to fucking up. mom has put up with a lot of shit to stay married to you for 44 years, but i don’t feel sorry for her because we both know she loves to play the martyr. you two are a textbook case of how not to raise a daughter, and i’ll get to mom in another blog. this one’s for you-
i know that you and mom “had” to get married. i know that you weren’t thrilled about it. i also know that you really wanted a son, but you got me instead. while i made do with the john deere tractor and matching wagon, you and i both know i really wanted the barbie corvette. so barbie and her friends went on lots of hayrides, no biggie. because i loved you.
lesson #1- be happy with whatever i get and don’t be disappointed; any affection i may receive depends on this.
we had fun when i was little. we played football with pillows in the trailer that i grew up in, you pretended to be a horse so i could ride on your back. except you always bucked me off, every time. you’d hide in the bathroom down the narrow hall and call to me and when i came to you, you’d jump out of the dark and scare me. i hated that game, and tried to refuse, but mom would insist i go every time. when mom called that dinner was ready, you’d always hold me back and say that i didn’t get to eat. even though i knew it was a game, i didn’t like it. now that i think about it, your sense of humor was somewhat sadistic. but i didn’t see it that way at the time. because i loved you.
lesson #2 – play along, even when i don’t want to.
when i was small, and did something wrong, you whipped me. you had that fucking collection of belts and always made me pick one. i took a long time choosing, hoping you would change your mind, but you never did. i always chose the red, white, and blue one, because if i had to get whipped, it should be with a pretty belt. and it wasn’t just one or two times. no, you beat my ass. and bare legs. and back. and arms.
i stole some of your coin collection to use in the gum ball machine at the trailer court. it was only a couple of wheat pennies and a dime, but you found me at the gum ball machine and my heart got stuck in my throat. you had a wire coat hanger in your right hand and it was summer and i was wearing shorts. you beat me with that wire hanger all the way to the trailer and that was a long way and i couldn’t run fast because i was only 4. and still, i loved you.
and that time you got mad ’cause mom made chili in july. i was still in a highchair, even though i was 3. i dumped my chili onto the metal tray and you swore at me for wasting food. you grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me out of the highchair. my legs got all cut up because you didn’t take the tray off first. then you threw me on the floor of the living room, and that’s how my favorite top got ripped. then you grabbed a belt from your collection and started beating me and you wouldn’t stop. mom finally pulled you away and threw you out. she let you come back, though. because she needed you more than she loved me. i asked mom to fix my top, but she threw it away instead.
lesson #3 – i am bad, and being hurt by someone i love is acceptable. in fact, i should expect it. i need to learn the art of survival, nobody else is going to protect me.
you have never told me you loved me. never. not once. you have never told me you are proud of me. not ever. not when i graduated from college, or grad school, or got straight a’s, or stuck with my crappy marriage for so long, or left said crappy marriage when it was time. i craved your approval like an addict craves that next hit off the pipe, knowing it will never be enough. and i chased after your approval the way a child chases their shadow, knowing that they will never catch it but always hoping against hope that this time might be different. and i never hated you for it. instead, i hated myself for not being enough.
lesson #4 – it’s not you. it’s me. and it will always be me, even when it’s you.
you had a girlfriend on the side, beginning when i was 5, and ending around the time i went away to college. i know this because i rode the bus with her son in high school. he told me all about how you’d come over on christmas day when he was little. i always wondered why you left after we’d opened presents. you were going to your other family. the one with two boys.
remember that time when i was a senior in high school and my friend viki and i saw your truck at your girlfriend’s house? i rang the doorbell and asked your girlfriend if you were there and i told her who i was. after viki and i drove away, we hid in a driveway and watched you speed past us in your truck, racing towards home. and we laughed because we knew you couldn’t touch me. not unless you wanted to tell mom what you were so pissed about.
mom still doesn’t know about that time i called your girlfriend at work and called her a whore and a bitch and demanded that army picture of you back. the one that mom kept asking about and you kept telling her that you’d left it in your locker at work. only it wasn’t in your locker, was it? it was on your girlfriend’s tv, because her son told me. you brought the picture home that night. that’s when you stopped looking me in the eye and started hating me. because you’d been caught by your daughter. and i began to hate you right back.
and when you suddenly decided not to pay for grad school, i became a stripper to pay for it myself. because i had learned the art of survival.
lesson #5 – i have nothing to lose and it feels good to be a bitch.
you stopped hugging me when i turned 10, and i’m pretty sure it had something to do with my going through puberty. especially when you went on a trip and brought me back that cleveland browns sweatshirt, threw it in my general direction while averting your eyes and said, “here, this will cover up your bumps.” nice way to encourage a young girl to have pride in her body. so i started covering up my bumps, all the time. when i was in my late 20’s, i got rid of my bumps altogether by developing anorexia. then i had to cover up my bones. i began to loathe myself.
lesson #6 – my body is sexual, and sexuality is bad.
the only birthday of mine that you ever came to was when i turned 5. i still remember it because that’s the birthday i got my first barbie. you took her away and wouldn’t give her back. you thought that was funny and i played along so you would stay. to this day, i occasionally find myself playing along, for fear of being abandoned or pissing someone off. when i was 17, you never came to my high school graduation. i know this because when i got home after the ceremony, the ticket i’d left for you on the kitchen table was still there. you were still pissed about me finding you at your girlfriend’s two months prior, and calling her at her job. because i’d stopped playing along.
lesson #7 – when i stop playing along, you will hate me.
in high school, you started to have me followed, instead of sitting me down and asking me about what was going on in my life, you got kids from the trailer court to tell you shit about me, a full $5 for each bit of information. that’s how you found out i smoked, drank, got high, and had a black best friend. you even sent two guys on my fucking spring break trip to daytona beach. i know this because on the last night, we all got drunk together and they told me. then they proceeded to tell me your name, my full name, where i lived and what you wanted to know. i wasn’t even safe from you 1,000 miles away.
can i just tell you how fucked up that is? that is seriously fucked up. i was the most paranoid teenager i knew, even without the pot.
you made me stop being friends with kim, you beat my ass when you found out i smoked and you grounded me for three months for drinking. fuck you. i started getting high with my dealer’s 16-year-old wife before school, i went through the bottle of vodka you had hidden in your cupboard, filling it with water instead. that’s right dad, the more you tightened the screws, the more i fucked up. i went to school drunk every day, or high, or both. i hid beers in my bedroom and drank them when you were asleep. i smoked in the bathroom after you and mom left for work. i feared getting caught, but the rush was incredible.
lesson #8 – my father is out to get me, and he will always find me.
you wouldn’t let me date the same guy twice, because you didn’t want me to get pregnant, the way mom did. you wanted me to get an education and be someone. or something. not for my sake, but so that you could say you had a college-educated child. and i was so terrified of getting pregnant that i didn’t had sex until i was 19. and then i slept with every guy i wanted to when i went away to college. because i could, and you had never taught me to respect my body. you had only taught me to get away with whatever i could. i never enjoyed the sex, but being sneaky felt awesome.
lesson #9 – sex is about power and revenge.
when i was in my final year of grad school, i met my future husband, only i didn’t know it at the time. i was smart and i knew about birth control. but when you should have taught me confidence, i learned fear. where self-esteem should have been, there was an empty well, waiting to be filled by someone else’s ideas and beliefs. fear of abandonment took the place of knowing my own worth. standing my ground was replaced by an aching need to please, at any cost. so when my future husband said “no rubbers, please” i said “ok”. because i needed to be loved, and i was afraid of losing him.
lesson #10 – do whatever i have to do make other people happy. my thoughts and feelings don’t count and should be kept to myself. they will only make others stop loving me.
and then i got pregnant. your biggest fear. and because you were my biggest fear, and because i didn’t believe in myself, and because my boyfriend didn’t want a baby and because i didn’t want to be abandoned, i had an abortion. then the self-hatred really kicked in.
lesson #11 – all decisions should be based on fear.
it has taken me 20+ years to undo what you did to me. everyday i untangle a bit more of the knot, trying to smooth out the yarn. it’s still good yarn, and everyday i knit myself.
lesson #12 – you made me stronger, smarter, tougher and braver. so fuck you.
Holy crapballs, it’s 2019 already. Kinda was feeling like January lasted at least 5 months – it just dragged and dragged.
Okay, so it’s (Aunt Becky) rocking the mike to tell you allllll the stuff that’s been going on since we resurrected The Band in June of 2018. It’s a lot: take what you need and leave the rest.
First, let’s start at the beginning:
With the help of Jess Green and now Rosalie, we managed to pull about 2000 posts from the Wayback Machine, to add to our archives. See – we lost any access to the old backend while I was homeless, so the only way we can get stuff added from the past is to copy and paste them into a new post. That’s why they’re all anonymous and may have comments from ages ago.
We’ve also been working to create a stable Board of Directors to manage this nonprofit properly, which means a whole ton of writing different (read: boring) things so that we’ve got our ducks in a proverbial row. I only wish we had REAL ducks, but alas, Nathan said no to my idea.
Ducks or none, I’m working on the page for the board of directors so you can meet us as well!
The resource pages are still my big baby, so I’ve been working on them as I can. I think I’ve done maybe a hundred so far? The reason this is draaggggiiiing on is because I’m auditing them and filling them with more information, and I’m still working with The Board to get our volunteer framework created.
Things worthy of note (that we’re in the process of fixing):
Links within the pages/posts – I know they don’t work. I’m thinking about possibly changing to a Wiki Plugin, but I’m PRETTY sure the name’s the beginning and the ending of my knowledge.
A new landing page and a more easily organized and intuitive way to use the site
Moving server hosts – we currently have three – I’d like to be down to one quite soon
Our developer is working to create a different layout with a new theme so that we can just paste it on up when we’re done
Getting our social media team sorted and organized
I personally am working to get gsuite for nonprofits for us, but it’s taken me 3 weeks so far, and nada
Forums for the site
And about a zillion other things I can’t quite remember.
This month, we have a bunch of different prompts for you guys (you do NOT have to use them – we accept all submissions. If you’d prefer to be anonymous, that’s fine, please go here.It’s also Black History Month, and we at The Band support diversity. We would appreciate any stories about discrimination (of any form) and anything else you’d like to discuss.
It’s heart health month, so we’d love any stories about any cardiac issues you or a loved one have been through, or maybe just a “here’s how I stay heart healthy.”
It’s also, on Band Back Together, Mood Disorders Month. I know a lot of us struggle with these (raises hand) and along with being isolating, mood disorders can make us feel alone. Let’s show everyone that they’re not alone.
Here are the resources I have created thus far for Mood Disorders (this will be added to this post as I eke out time for it):
The light of a distant star continues to reach the Earth long after the star itself is gone.
– Author Unknown
Today, October 15, 2018, we pause to remember the stars of our soul that were extinguished far too early.
To the parents who are missing their babies today and always, The Band sends our love and prayers.
To our babies, the babies who never got to experience the joys of Earth and whose lives were cut very short, we miss you.
We miss you. More than anyone can ever know. We wish we could have one more moment – one single moment – with you, as if we can’t have a lifetime with you.
Today, we honor the short lives of some of the brightest souls, souls that have touched many and have taught us to cherish all of life’s moments.
To our babies who we carry in our hearts, instead of our arms, we will never forget you.
Love,
Aunt Becky and The Band Back Together Project
Band Back Together’s Wall of Remembrance:
Miscarriage:
Ally’s Baby:
Mary Katerina, miscarriage March 13, 2008.
Amanda’s Baby:
September 23, 2010, miscarriage.
Amanda and John’s Babies:
Juliana, July 2008, miscarriage.
Charlie, November 2009, miscarriage.
Samantha, March 2010, miscarriage.
Ameila’s Babies:
Her 3 Littles, December 23, 2010, missed miscarriage/June 2011, miscarriage/December 6, 2011, Autosomal Recessive Polycysitic Kidney Disease
Another Becky’s Baby:
Baby Savu:
August 2004 missed miscarriage between 3rd and 4th month.
Ashleigh’s Baby:
Baby Garrett, September 13 2012, Miscarriage
Aunt Becky’s Babies:
February, 2008, Baby 1, miscarriage.
March, 2008, Baby 2, miscarriage.
Baby Boy, February 15, 2000, miscarriage.
Baby Ian:
Pregnant October 2011, unpregnant January 2012, ectopic pregnancy.
Baby KJ:
July 15, 2008, miscarriage.
Baby Moll:
June 13, 2005, miscarriage.
Baby Noah Walter:
January 2012, miscarriage.
Barbara’s Babies:
Malcolm, January 2008, miscarriage.
Ophelia, April 2009, miscarriage.
Blazngfrye’s Babies:
Caden, miscarriage, May 1989.
Aubrey, miscarriage, December 1993.
Courtney’s Baby:
Kaycie, miscarriage, 6/14/2011.
Dawn’s Baby:
Baby Jones #1, February 2007, miscarriage at 12 weeks due to blighted ovum (Empty Gestational Sac).
Debbie’s Babies:
Michelle, November 1991, miscarriage
2 babies, miscarried in 1994 and 1999.
Elsie’s Ten Possibilities:
Nine Embies, 2008
Lola, 2011
Erin’s Babies:
Baby 1, September 2006, miscarriage.
Baby 2, January 2007, miscarriage.
Baby Girl 1, December 2008, late miscarriage.
Baby Girl 2, August 17, 2009, born still at 18 weeks.
Ewokmama’s Baby:
March 2005, miscarriage at 13 weeks.
Fibi’s Baby:
Biscuit, July 18, 2012, miscarriage.
Heather’s Babies:
Unnamed baby, 6w1d, September 18, 2010, miscarriage.
Unnamed baby, 6w2d, June 22, 2011, miscarriage.
Unnamed baby, 5w, August 15, 2011, miscarriage.
Her Almost: Pregnant in December, 2007. Unpregnant by February, 2008.
Her Highness:
Forget Me Not #1, February 2008, miscarriage.
Forget Me Not #2, January 2012, miscarriage.
Hubbit:
Two boys.
InDueTime’s Baby:
Baby M:
September 10, 2011, miscarriage.
Jenna’s Daughter:
Stella:
February 13, 2011, miscarriage.
Jennifer’s Baby:
June 8, 2008, early miscarriage.
Joules’ Babies:
November 2007, early miscarriage
November 2011, early miscarriage
Justine and Boo’s Baby:
June 2009, miscarriage.
Kallay and Ryan’s Baby:
Baby C lost to a partial miscarriage, May 17, 2010. Baby C is survived by twin sisters, Lily and Molly who were born on December 7, 2010.
Kate’s Babies:
Mari Elizabeth, September 2003, miscarriage
Noah Douglas, October 2004, miscarriage.
Twin Angels, July 2006, miscarriages.
Kathryn’s Baby:
Rebecca, June 3, 1995, miscarriage.
Katie’s Babies:
Baby Sluiter A, April 2007, miscarriage.
Baby Sluiter B, May 2008, miscarriage.
Kelly’s Daughter:
Lola, October 9, 2012, miscarriage.
Kelly and Brad’s daughter:
Lily Catherine, February 18, 2010, miscarriage.
Kelly’s Babies:
Baby 1, April 2003, miscarriage.
Baby 2, October 2004, miscarriage.
Baby 3, February 2006, miscarriage.
Kendra Pocock’s Baby:
Baby JJ Pocock, July 13 2012, Miscarriage/Ectopic Pregnancy
Kim’s Baby:
Baby, October 1996, miscarriage.
Krista’s Babies:
Baby One, son late term miscarriage at 15 weeks.
Baby Two, second-trimester miscarriage at 14 weeks.
Baby Three: miscarriage, 11 weeks.
Baby Four: miscarriage, 13 weeks
Baby Five, late miscarriage, 16 weeks.
Kristin’s Babies:
Eva, miscarriage
7 other babies lost through miscarriage due to luteal phase disorder and clotting disorder.
Lara and Brandon’s Son:
Tallon, August 14, 2011.
Lauren C’s Angels:
Baby, August 27, 2007, miscarriage.
Baby Boy, January 13, 2011, miscarriage.
Baby May 9, 2011, miscarriage.
Leah’s Babies:
Cameron, born and died May 22, 2009 at 10 weeks.
Jeremiah Oliver and Jillian Olivia, twin babies. Second trimester loss July 9, 2010 and July 14, 2010 respectively.
Lisa’s Baby:
July 1994, ectopic pregnancy resulting in emergency surgery.
Lisa’s Baby:
Baby Natasha Anastasia:
September 7, 2011, miscarriage.
Maresi’s Baby:
Baby B #3, September 1, 2011, miscarriage at 5 weeks.
Marlowe Corrine, September 19, 2006, early miscarriage.
Melissa’s Baby:
June 11, 2011, miscarriage
Mindy’s Three Angels:
Angel One, September 9, 2005, miscarriage.
Angel Two, July 17, 2007, miscarriage.
Angel Three, September 25, 2010, miscarriage.
Miranda’s Baby:
Peanut, August 7, 2011, miscarriage.
Natalie’s Baby:
Baby One, February 2, 2011, miscarriage.
Natalie’s Baby:
Hosanna Joy, June 18, 2011, early miscarriage.
Nicole’s Baby:
Cody Ryan-Price Grodan, February 14, 2012, miscarriage, 12 weeks.
Nicole and Jake’s Baby:
Baby One, September 19, 2011, miscarriage.
Rachel and Jesse:
Babies due Aug 2008 and November 2010. Both lost to miscarriage.
Rachel’s Baby:
Alivia Mason, March 21, 2012, miscarriage.
Renee’s Babies:
Isaac Ephraim, miscarriage August 2006.
Isaiah Jeremiah, miscarriage January 2007.
Ella Alicea, ectopic pregnancy June 2009.
Sarah’s Baby:
September 2006, miscarriage.
Sarah’s Babies:
April 12, 2002, miscarriage.
September 3, 2008, miscarriage.
Susie’s Baby:
Baby #3, June 2000, miscarriage from a blighted ovum.
Suzanne’s children:
Athena Rose Moore, Girl Twin B
Tammy’s Baby:
October 1990, miscarriage.
Three Angels:
September, 2002, July 17, September 25. Miscarriages.
Jacob Bennett born and died on July 11, 2007 due to premature rupture of membranes (PROM).
Samantha Lauren born August 16, 2011 at 23.5 weeks passed away September 17th due to extreme prematurity and fungal meningitis.
Baby Helen: Born July, 1993. Passed from prematurity.
Celeste’s Son:
Christopher Robin Cote: Born September 25, 2009. Stillborn due to premature rupture of membranes and incompetent cervix.
Christine’s Son:
Jellybean, born at 5:20 April 15th, 2009; and passed just four short hours later in her arms.
Heather and Aaron’s Son:
Aodin R. Hurd, October 7, 2007, born still due to premature rupture of the membranes.
Kate’s Babies:
Baby S, March 2008, Miscarriage
Evie, December 14, 2009, Triplet Prematurity
Jack, December 22, 2009, Triplet Stillbirth due to Prematurity
Will, January 13, 2010, Triplet Prematurity
Baby M, May 2010, Miscarriage
Kristin’s Baby (Mama KK):
Ariel Grace, born on July 28, 2009 at 18 weeks 5 days. Lived 5 minutes.
Leleisme’s Babies:
Ayla and Juliet, October 20, 2009 at 20 weeks.
Bayli and Thomas on June 8, 2011 at 21 weeks 2 days.
Matthew Chase Sims: April 25th, 2006 due to prematurity.
Melissa’s Son:
Born at 21 weeks in June 2011 due to a bacterial infection, lived for 30 minutes.
Nicky’s Son:
Samuel, August 8, 2001, prematurity.
Nina’s Son:
Coleman Parker Garibay, September 14, 2005, lost at 6 months gestation and passed from prematurity.
Paula’s Baby:
Reya, September 18 2011, Prematurity due to extreme Pre-eclempsia
Yvette’s Son:
Erik Richard, July 29, 1981, prematurity.
Birth Defects:
Aaron and Kristine’s Son:
Luke Ervin Seitz, born July 21, 2011 with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and passed on June 28, 2011.
Amy’s Babies:
Mateo, Anthony, and Ian born on May 6, 2008 at 23 weeks and 3 days.
Mateo was born still.
Anthony passed away from Transposition of the Great Vessels.
Ian passed away after a short stay in the NICU.
Avaleigh: July 25, 2011, born still due to Down Syndrome.
Baby Anissa, born December 2, 2008, stillbirth from birth defects.
Baby Khalil:
Born August 14, 2009, stillborn, born still from birth defects.
Beth’s Son:
Ethan Connor Brockwell, May 3, 2006 – August 17, 2006. Born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
Christopher: November 4, 1979, due to pulmonary atresia, a congenital heart defect.
Christopher’s Son:
Aidan, born with brain malformation on December 16, 2008 and passed on December 19, 2008.
Cora Mae McCormick:
November 30, 2009 to December 6, 2009 from a congenital heart defect.
Ellen’s Son:
Shane Michael, born October 10, 1971 and died October 11, 1971 from heart complications before his mother could wake from anesthesia. She never saw or held him.
Julie’s Daughter:
Brianna Elizabeth, born January 29, 1998 and died March 7, 1998 from a heart defect.
Kathryn’s Son:
Seth Douglas Bonnett, Our Little “Tough guy”, March 27, 2008 – October 12, 2008. Died from Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
Raquel’s Son:
Austin Skylar Gregory, born July 3, 2005 and gained his wings August 29, 2005 from Multiple Complex Congenital Heart Defects.
Ruth’s Son:
Corbin Walker, born February 20, 2011 and died May 17, 2011 from heart defects brought on by Williams Syndrome.
Shannon’s Baby:
Chloe Walker, born November 29, 2000 and died June 4, 2001 from multiple congenital heart defects and heterotaxy.
Suzy’s Son:
Starbaby, born still February 2008 due to Trisomy 18.
Venita’s Son:
Matthew Connor – February 26, 2005, born at 26 weeks, passed from Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC).
Wendy’s Baby:
Reed Allyvion Miners, passed away July 5th 2003 at one hour old from Primary Myocardial Disease, a congenital heart defect.
Nathaniel, born August 24, 2001 and died August 29, 2001 from an undiagnosed metabolic disorder.
David, born May 11, 2010 and Died January 24, 2011 from a myriad of complications resulting from a liver transplant.
Angie’s Daughter:
Leia Sky Williams, born October 6, 2011, passed away from Group Beta Strep.
Baby Dominic:
January 16, 2002, SIDS
Baby Kash Michael:
Born June 3, 2011 and died September 28, 2011.
Carey’s Triplet Sons:
Rudyard, Desmond, and Oscar, June 4th, 2011, born at 22 weeks due to of E. coli infection.
Cecily’s Sons:
Nicholas and Zachary, October 27th, 2004.
Heather and Joe’s Twins:
Jonathan Michael and Samuel Joseph, identical twins born alive and died on May 6, 2004 from extreme prematurity and twin-to-twin transfusion.
Jana’s Son:
Charlie: Born May 21, 2003 and died June 14, 2003 from late-onset Group B Strep.
JennK’s Son:
Will, born (today) October 15, 2002 and died on September 16, 2003 from complications of late-onset Group B Strep.
Jenni’s Babies:
Malakai Zachary born still March 10, 2007 due to Anencephaly.
Five more angels, July, 2007 – May, 2010. Miscarriages.
Kara’s Daughter:
Catherine Grace, born August 10, 2012, passed August 12, 2012, due to prematurity brought on by HELLP syndrome.
Lisa’s Daughter:
Kaitlyn Grace, born sleeping at 38 weeks on Saturday, May 13th, 1995. Died from a true knot in her umbilical cord.
Matt and Lauren’s Baby:
Isla, born 14 weeks premature on August 23, 2011 and died on October 10, 2011.
Rachel’s Daughter:
Mina Kathryn, born February 18, 2009, died February 24, 2009, due to complications with her PICC line.
Scribbles412’s Baby:
Baby R, May 24, 1998, Medicine Administration by RN who didn’t know or ask.
Stephanie’s Son:
Silas, prematurity.
Venita’s Son:
Matthew Conner Webb, born January 11, 2005 and died February 26, 2005. He was born at 26 weeks and faced many obstacles in his short life.
Aimee’s Babies:
Ziggy Ann born sleeping on January 21, 2009.
Frank born sleeping May 21, 2010.
Liberty Ann born March 30, 2011 and died on April 19, 2011.
Ally’s Son:
Collin: born on August 9th, 2008. He passed away 30 minutes later from cardiac arrest after an emergency c-section due to a placental abruption.
Amy’s Baby:
Nicholas, born December 14, 2005, died April 19, 2006 from SIDS.
Claudia’s Son:
Max Corrigan, born November 14, 1987 and relinquished to adoption on November 18, 1987.
Colleen’s Babies:
Bryce Philip born May 26, 2009 and died September 1, 2009 due to SIDS
Ashton Karol, stillborn on February 24, 2010 at 17 weeks.
Lanie’s Sons:
Jake, born August 14, 2005 died August 27, 2005 due to prematurity and hydrops.
Sawyer, born November 17, 2009 died December 26, 2009. His cause of death has not been determined because he is part of a study at the Mayo clinic for heart arrhythmias – SIUDS (unexplained sudden infant death)
Leslie’s Son:
Cullen, September 11, 2010, stillbirth.
Pharon’s Daughter:
Sophia Lu Boudreau, born December 21, 2006 and died October 9, 2007 from SIDS.
Rebecca and TJ’s son:
Rafe Theobald Calvert, born on October 11th, 2009 at 26 weeks. Spent 3 months in the NICU and underwent an intestinal obstruction repair. He was released on January 11th, 2010 and we brought him home for 6 weeks. He passed away at 4 and a half months old from SIDS on February 25th, 2010.
The Stamm’s Daughter:
Adrienne Mae, May 7, 2006, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Suzie’s Son:
Nathan Michael King, died from SIDS November 2008.
Vanessa’s Daughter:
Kendra, April 23, 2005 to March 24, 2006. Died from Jacobsen Syndrome.
