by Band Back Together | Aug 20, 2015 | Adult Bullying, Bullying, Childhood Bullying, Fear, Workplace Bullying |
When I was in school, I became a target for bullying. I feel like the main reason I was bullied was because I was white. Most of my bullies were African/Black. I am in no way a racist. I’ve had more black friends than white.
One day in gym class, my friend Robbie and I were sitting in the gym and a group of students came up to us. There were five of them, and they were skipping class. They started calling us names, hitting us, and even tried to get us to fight each other. We tried to leave, but they wouldn’t let us. They just kept pushing us. Eventually, they got tired and left.
The next year, the gym teacher would pay Robbie and me with candy for cleaning under the bleachers. A different group of students than before thought it would be funny to choke me with a belt. The coach was downstairs, and had no idea that while he was gone, they were trying to hang me with a belt under the bleachers.
The most recent bullying happened two or three years ago, at work. I was the only white guy on the day maintenance crew. I did the best job I could, without a complaint from anyone. The night maintenance crew took over at 10:00. One of the guys in night maintenance would target me, and me only. He would say the bathrooms weren’t clean, so he would make me go back and clean them again – even going so far as to make me pick up broken glass with my bare hands. The other night workers would just stand there, laughing.
I’m very shy. I’ve never been in a fight with anyone. I grew up in a Christian home, where I was taught to love others. But the guy at work just kept pushing me. I found myself hating him. Thankfully, he transferred to another store, so I don’t have to deal with him anymore.
All of my life, I have been bullied by nothing but blacks. I feel like there is a tug-of-war going on inside of me. I want to be friendly and outgoing, but all the bullying in my past has left its mark. I feel like it is holding me back from who I want to be. I don’t want to feel fear and hatred.
I’m terribly sorry if I have offend anyone with my words.
by Band Back Together | Jul 24, 2015 | Abuse, Adult Bullying, Alcohol Addiction, Anxiety, Bullying, Child Abuse, Compulsive Eating Disorders, Depression, Infidelity, Loneliness, Self-Esteem, Stress, Suicide, Violence |
The name is Kat, and I’m a 29 year old college graduate. I feel bad about being so “big” and still being bullied. I thought it was something that just happens to kids and teens, but thanks to The Band, I’ve felt a little more comfortable admitting that yeah, I’m 29 and I’m still being bullied.
My parents have always had problems. When I was smaller, they would get into huge, violent fights that would end up in them beating each other (mostly my dad towards my mother) and cussing at each other. My two younger sisters and I grew up in a very violent atmosphere but were always close.
We also lived with our grandparents in the same house, and they would defend us a lot from my parents’ rage. My dad was an alcoholic and cheated on my mother. She would take it out on my sisters and me, mostly on me, since I was the one that always talked back to her, protecting my sisters.
Thanks to the constant abuses, I grew up insecure about myself. I was actually pretty creative, but also very violent. The slightest insult towards me, and I would attack other kids. Whenever my mom and I fought, I would feel the need to eat, so I was a little chubby. That got me bullied even more.
Back home, my mom used to beat my sisters and me with a wooden flat stick, saying that the Bible told her to “correct” her children like that. Aside from that, she would slap, choke, and punch me in the face, in many of our confrontations.
As a teen, I had a lot of trouble with authority and got into many fights with kids, claiming they only wanted to hurt me. My first boyfriend went to jail, and I changed universities a lot.
At 23, I had enough, and left the house. I got a great paying job and moved into an apartment, away from my mother. Once out, I got thin, got a new wonderful boyfriend and had a “perfect” life. But I still wanted to finish my career, which meant I had to quit my job, go back home, find another job that allowed me to study, and get into college once again.
Back home, I got chubby again. My mother constantly fights with me and tells me she doesn’t want me in her house. She values the pet more than me since she tells me that if her pet is sleeping on my bed, I’m not allowed to push her off. Sometimes I can’t sleep because of it. Her new husband shouts at me and loves getting me in trouble with her. I had to fight and struggle through college because of the stress at home.
I graduated three months ago, and I’m desperately looking for a job, so I can get out of this hell. My mom and I fight at least four times a week, and she always tells me to get the fuck out of her house. I have nowhere to go. I don’t want to involve my friends in this, and my father has another family. I’m desperate, I feel lonely, I lost my boyfriend, and she and her husband are constantly bullying me.
It may sound horrible and harsh, but its the truth. It took me 29 years to figure out why I eat compulsively. Just now, we had another fight. As soon as it ended, I raided the fridge, even though I wasn’t hungry at all. It’s not about filling “the void,” its about the desperation and anxiety I feel that make me want to eat like crazy.
However, I still remain strong. I wish for you gentle people who read my story to stay strong. I may be a little depressive, but I’m not suicidal. I love life and I want to move on. I know there are many amazing things waiting for me, and I just have to go ahead and do them.
Thanks for reading my story.
by Band Back Together | Mar 14, 2014 | Adult Bullying, Bullying, Coping With Bullying, How To Heal From Being Bullied, How To Help With Low Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem, Teen Bullying |
I am a student at a university. I am good at what I study.
To cut a very long story short, a guy who was in my friendship group got jealous of my marks, and was mad that I wouldn’t give him my answers. He sent me horrible messages saying I was a snake and an academic climber.
I know its very little compared to many stories on here, but it has really affected me. I am not friends with the group anymore as no one stood up for me.
I feel so self conscious and my self esteem has plummeted, I feel like everyone is looking and judging me all the time, and I’m all by myself.
I don’t know what to do, these are meant to be the best years of my life…
by Band Back Together | Oct 26, 2010 | Adult Bullying, Anger, Bullying, Childhood Bullying, Coping With Bullying, Emotional Boundaries, Guilt, How To Heal From Being Bullied, How To Help With Low Self-Esteem, Loneliness, Self Loathing, Self-Esteem, Shame, Stalking, Teen Bullying, Teen Rumors, Cliques, Gossip and Hazing Resources, Teen Sexuality |
We were the best of friends through high school – “The Three Musketeers”. We were going to be best friends for life. Sometime during senior year, they started changing. Drinking. Smoking. Having sex with anyone who looked their way.
That wasn’t for me. I chose not to party with them. They teased me about it, joking that I was the “good” one.
Not long after graduation, there was a situation where I chose my family over them. It all blew up, and the bullying and stalking began.
They prank-called me. They pitted our mutual friends against me with ridiculous lies. They showed up to my workplace and said they were going to kill me. They sat behind me in college classes and loudly whispered to others about how horrible I was. How I was an ugly, sad person. How they had just “pretended” to be my friend for all those years. They told all my secrets to anyone who would listen.
This continued for almost two years.
After the death threats at my workplace, I let them know that I would take out a restraining order if they ever contacted me again.
I blocked them on Facebook. I graduated from that college and went to another one in a different town. I changed my phone number.
Though I haven’t heard from them for years, I still feel sick when I think about them. They caused me incredible stress, self-doubt, and loneliness.
I don’t talk about it much, because I don’t want to give them the pleasure of knowing that they got under my skin. I left out many details of the story, and details about who I am, just in case they find this.
I’m now a happily married woman with a great career, an amazing husband, and a great group of true friends.
But I feel like I’ll always be looking over my shoulder, waiting for their next move.
by Band Back Together | Oct 8, 2010 | Addiction, Addiction Recovery, Adult Bullying, Alcohol Addiction, Anger, Blended Families, Bullying, Marriage Problems |
The man I married was a drunk. Hm, he used to be a drunk? Well, what do you call him now? When his then-wife served him divorce papers, not a month after their baby girl was born, he lost it. He fell head first in a vat of beer and really didn’t resurface for quite awhile. He struggles daily to not drink. And let me just say, some days are easier than others, boy howdy.
Before we started dating, I was pretty straight forward. I won’t marry a drunk. I’m a daughter of a drunk, and I won’t live like that. I refuse. I still, slowly, started dating him.
When she got information that we were dating, let me just say, the proverbial shit hit the fan. It went everywhere. She said she was going to move and he’d never see his kid again, she was going to get his rights taken away, and she thought about how to get us to break up. Just for the sheer enjoyment of it, I guess. This woman had put this man onto the streets because of the amount of child support he had to pay. Imagine. Imagine having to live in a camper with no running water and no electricity, just to pay child support.
Right now, I can’t tell you the story about WHY he quit drinking. Not yet that is. I’m sure one day I will be able to, without crying and feeling anger and well, wanting to puke. But let me just say it wasn’t pretty.
Fast forward about six months.
7am: there’s a knock at the door.
In my sleepy haze, I stumbled from our tiny room to the front door, hair stuck straight up, and climbed on the chair so that I could see out the front window. Blue car. Crap, its her car.
THIS EARLY?? Ugh. *heart thumping in throat* For half a second, I considered turning around and going back to bed. Letting him deal with it. But nope, I swung open the door and woah, who is this man?
He asked for my husband. More drama.
This is where we learned that his ex-wife had DIED.
She FREAKING DIED. This …this woman who made our lives a living hell, went and DIED ON ME. What the hell?
This “woman” who had put us through so much had just DIED in her freaking SLEEP. I never got to vent my anger at her. She used to hold his child -my stepdaughter- hostage for months. At that point, we hadn’t seen our daughter in nearly six months. SIX FREAKING MONTHS, man. I never got to go to her apartment and beat the ever living snot out of her like I wanted to. I never even EMAILED her to try and get any sort of explanation out of her. I was trying to keep the peace. I just pretended like she didn’t even exist.
So, now I ask you, what do I do with my ANGER?
There are days I just want to scream. ALL. DAY. LONG. There are days when I want to ignore everyone. How do I make that stop? How do I get past this?
How?
